Q. Have you ever been told that you look a little like Michael Moore?

A. Yes. I have been told that. A few too many times. Just this weekend, in fact. And I must say, I don't necessarily consider that a compliment. Um, you know, he's kind of goofy looking.

Having said that, I do consider "goofy looking" a kind of compliment. Why I don't consider being compared to Michael Moore a compliment, I can't really fathom.

And no, I don't like the new look he was sporting at the Oscars. Who was he kidding? He is not a metro-sexual. (I'm guessing, though, that the new look was a stunt. Has anybody seen him looking like that since then?)

Maybe it's the hat. Should I lose the hat?

Those are my dogs there in the photo (assuming you can see the photo. Do you see a photo?) Pretzel is there on the left. Sadie on the right (trying to lunge across my lap). I'm in the middle. With the lapful of dog.

One day I just want someone to say to Michael Moore, "has anybody ever told you that you look like Terry Bain?"

Maybe I'll send Michael Moore a book. If you know when his birthday is, I'd appreciate a holler.

Axis a question.

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Q. Have you read that Philip K. Dick story written from the point of view of a dog?

Q. Have you read that Philip K. Dick story written from the point of view of a dog?

A. I haven’t. But I know which one it is. It’s called “Roog.” Apparently the dog thinks humans keep all their treasure in the metal box outside the house. And these men come and they take it all away. I believe the dog calls the men “Roog.” And it’s meant to be the sound of the dog barking, as well as what the dog calls the men. Of course, this doesn’t explain, really, why the dog also calls the squirrel and the cat and the UPS driver Roog. So, no, I haven’t read it, and I’m making all sorts of assumptions about it. I do know that it’s available in this book. Do you have a copy? Maybe you could lend it to me.

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Q. Is that your dog on the cover of You Are a Dog?

A. No. That's not my dog. I like that dog, but that isn't my dog. It's another dog. I didn't choose the picture on the cover or have anything to do with the actual selection of the dog on the cover. I like the cover. They did a good job with that selection. There is a picture of me with my dogs in the inside flap of the book. My son took that picture. I'm very proud of him. He claims I still owe him twenty-five bucks for that picture. This would seem fair, I suppose, except, well... he's seven.

Axis a question.

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